How do you vent your gripes? Discovering your fighting style is the first step toward cooling the conflict in your relationship. Take this quiz to find out your arguing attitude and learn what you can do to change your ways -- and achieve relationship harmony.

by Eileen Livers

  1. Your partner accuses you of doing something that upset him, but you don't think you did anything wrong. What do you do?
    • Say something like, "Of course I was wrong, I'm always wrong, aren't I!" and stomp out of the room -- you hate how he's always blaming you for everything
    • Use that opportunity to bring up something he did that upset you
    • Apologize anyway -- he's probably right that you were in the wrong
    • Ask him to explain why he thinks you were wrong, as you want to understand what you did -- that way, you can try not to do it again
  1. During an argument with your partner, you often:
    • Ask your partner to explain his feelings, and do the same yourself
    • Say things you regret later
    • Rehash old points of conflict
    • Fail to make the point you were trying to make

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