by Julie B. Thibodeaux, M.C.P. and D. Stephenson Bond, L.M.H.C


Is your intellectual intelligence the greatest predictor of what you’ll accomplish in life?

We have been conditioned to believe that IQ is the best measure of human potential. In the past 10 years, however, researchers have found that this isn't necessarily the case -- that in actuality, your emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) might be a greater predictor of success.

What is emotional intelligence? In the early 1990s, Dr. John Mayer, Ph.D., and Dr. Peter Salovey, Ph.D., introduced the term "emotional intelligence" in the Journal of Personality Assessment. They used this term to describe a person's ability to understand his or her own emotions and the emotions of others and to act appropriately based on this understanding. Then in 1995, psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized this term with his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

The following test will reveal your emotional reactions to difficult situations and measure your EQ. Each item describes a hypothetical situation. Read through the entire range of responses for each situation and then pick the response that most closely matches the way you would respond.

Let's begin:

  1. Situation: A friend has borrowed something small, but high in sentimental value. You've asked for your friend to return the item, but your friend has failed to bring it back.

    Your Response:
    • You let it go. Friendship is more important than material items.
    • You give your friend the cold shoulder until he or she returns your item.
    • You admit to your friend how important the item is to you and why you would like it back, and ask your friend to return the item to you.
    • You end the friendship. You don't need a friend who disrespects you and your feelings.
  1. Situation: Your long-term partner has ended your relationship and you are upset because you wanted the relationship to continue.

    Your Response:
    • You get involved with someone you don't care about just to be with someone.
    • You immerse yourself in many projects -- maybe you won't think about it.
    • You stay home every night and cry about the breakup.
    • You decide to make the best of it and find healthy outlets for your feelings.

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